The Mutafarrik: 4.9

18 Years Old

The Mutafarrik had been camping at an old rest stop a few miles away from the old Arkansas/Mississippi border. These parts had been returned to original native people. Much of it was resort-like—expansive, single story homes with astounding views of renaturalized land. A house out here cost millions, but in this community, the elite were the most traditional, and they fought aggressively to maintain spaces like these. The next closest major city was Little Rock. Between here and there were few people; few people could afford it.

The forgotten rest stop was a tangible oasis. The place had originally been a truck stop. After the redistribution, the owner abandoned it. Someone bought it from the tribe and turned it into a rest stop, and, every so often, had begun to restock the closets with toilet paper, fill the snack machines, and collect what little change may have accumulated in the vending machines from the rare passersby. The restaurant stoves still heated, and the showers still dripped.
Karin complained when there was no bath. Unless there were lots and lots of bubbles, Grace had bored with filling and soaking, half chilled, half boiled in tubs of water. She hated the broom closet shower on the bus, but loved the feel of water pelting her body. This day she had been in the shower so long that Lieu assumed she must have come out unobserved and disappeared.

The door creaked open, dissipating the steam to reveal Grace trying to arrange her bra around her breasts. The wind stiffened her nipples slightly. She looked up at Lieu and smiled. “It’s not a peep show. You can touch me, too.”
Lieu’s eyes narrowed on Grace. He walked dangerously near her. Grace was sexy as hell. She shouldn’t tease. He should walk away, but there were a few drops of water rolling down her neck, and he wanted to taste them on his tongue. Steam from Grace’s shower, infused with her rose perfume, dizzied him and obscured his senses.
Grace reached out to him, tugged him closer by his fingers, and then timidly and deliberately began to pull his shirt over his head. Lieu had such a defined build. Her hand floated up to his chest, which she stroked tenderly. She choked a moan with a sigh and a tremble. She looked up at him in a dream-like state. “Do to me what you do to them, Lieu,” she begged. “Kiss me, please. Be my first.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against Grace’s. She leaned her head back, and he dove into her neck.
Drum, also waiting to shower, did not hear Grace or Lieu when he knocked on the bathroom door. Neither Grace nor Lieu heard Drum. Lieu switched his attention to Gracie’s stiff nipples. Grace dropped her hand as she’d seen Lieu’s woman do. Lieu shifted his attention to this new site of panic on her body. The bathroom door opened. The air dissolved a window through the steam.
“What the fuck,” Drum yelled?!
Grace scrambled to cover herself. Lieu fell back, feeling caught and short of breath.
Drum stormed to where Lieu felt the floor for his shirt and punched the man in the eye. Lieu’s head hit the cement--the wall, then the floor; he passed out.
Grace screamed at Drum, “Why?!”
“That motherfuc—“
“He wasn’t doing nothing I wasn’t letting him. You punch him, you might as well punch me.”
IM came running into the shower, followed closely by the rest of the bandits. It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened with both Lieu and Princess half dressed. Lieu groaned awake. Drum shoved Princess aside to attack Lieu, again, but Suave and Eights held him back. Grace ran. IM and Karin went after.

Eights helped Lieu to one of the stone park benches. Suave tried to talk Drum back from the edge of mania. “Relax man. Calm down. You don’t know what happened.”
“That nigger was in there with my sixteen year old sister.”
“Give Lieu the benefit of the doubt. He not trying to hurt Princess.”
“He was in the bathroom sucking her fucking clit.”
Eights withdrew from Lieu a little, but he did not choose sides. Suave also examined Lieu carefully. Put like that, it felt less like underage sex and more like incest. Lieu didn’t even like the sound of it. He closed his eyes. Disgusted with himself, he dropped his head hard against the stone bench, smashing himself back into unconsciousness.
Diva had been growling like crazy for twenty minutes before the Mutafarrik saw the first plumes of smoke over Little Rock. The city smoldered. All along the roads fires blazed. Vast numbers of homeless people lined the main thoroughfare and warmed themselves over burning garbage, or camped and cooked on the curbs. Children, when they saw the van, ran and beat against the sides of it, begging the Mutafarrik for food, water, or a breath of clean air. The most telling part of the journey was written on the wall underneath an overpass. Tagged in red spray paint was the alert: Art Bandits Soon Come.
Grace’s heart broke to enter bright, clean, hotel and leave those clambering for her arrival to choke in downtown’s haze. As if sentenced to stay there, the Mutafarrik checked in to the hotel. The family ate a quiet dinner. Things were less tense. Suave and Eights had forgiven Lieu. IM had never been angry, believing this development inevitable. Drum would not forgive IM for not being mad, nor Lieu for molesting his baby sister, nor Grace for trying to give up her virginity.
Lieu caught Grace alone before she went back to the bus. “Stay with me, tonight.” Grace looked deep into Lieu’s eyes. She felt faint, and her vision clouded with stars. She could see Lieu, but the light must blind him, because he was looking just past Gracie when he made his request. Just as if he could not see her, Grace turned wordlessly to the van. Lieu watched her walk away.
For a while Gracie tried to sleep without dreaming, but she couldn’t. A basinet rocked slowly in a large, empty room. A light above the window blinded Grace. She didn’t want to know what was in the basinet. She felt that clearly, so she fought herself awake again and again. She gave up and roused herself from the bed, dressed again, and left the bus for the hotel bar.

Suave was on the stage with Eights, Lieu and Karin. They were playing with “The Ballad of the Art Bandits.” It was nearly 2:00 a.m. The bar was almost empty. A man took a seat next to Grace; it was IM. “Come on over here and talk to me and Drum.” Grace followed her brother reluctantly. Was this the dreaded?
“Tell me what you been dreaming about lately.”
“I been dreaming of getting out of here.”
“As a matter of fact…” Drum agreed.
“Come on. Be specific, Grace”
“Why insist to play? You know I don’t like you to ask if you already know the answer. I dream about settling down, having babies?”
“A baby basket?”
“A basinet. Blue?”
“Blue, that’s what I dreamt, too, blue. Go on, Gracie.”
“I haven’t dreamed past that. I…”
“You? Scared? Naw, I can’t believe Princess is scared.”
“Grace. Scared to leave. Scared to stay. Who gon’ protect my brothers?”
“You to stay in Little Rock after this job. Wait for Wisdom and Knowledge.” IM grabbed his sister’s hand. “Gracie, Princess, there are a lot of ways that I admire you. I haven’t ever told you.”
“Why ya’ll acting all soft? I’m not pregnant.”
“You are a woman, now, Grace. You are still young.”
“Too young,” humphed Drum.
“Young for a lot of things, but you are wise beyond your years. Some people’s minds will never develop past where yours is right now, and everyday you growing and changing.”
“Some people always gon’ be kids…”
“Drum. Lieu…Lieu… I don’t know if it’s for Grace to take care of Lieu or be with Lieu, but Lieu forcing us to see what we need to see: Grace becoming a woman.”
“Princess,” Grace looked up at Drum who averted his eyes, but reached for her hand. “Gracie baby, if I ever did anything to hurt you, you know it was all in love.”
“What’s in the basinet?”
“I don’t know. Drum don’t know. We can’t really agree on what we see in the dream.”
“But you know what’s in the basinet. Tell me what’s in the basinet.”
“If it was for you to know... African proverb, what you struggle for is not for you.”
“IM, that advice is stupid. Think about it. We struggle for everything. If that was the case, we should have given up long ago.” Grace rose, but when she tried to pull her fingertips out of Drum’s grip, he would not let go.
“Wait. Grace. Let me talk to you for real. Sit.” She obeyed. “Grace? Princess? Princess, you think you love Lieu?” Grace lowered her head. “Tell me the truth. Don’t make me kill my friend. You love Lieu?”
“I love you. I love you, IM. I love Eights. I love Karin. I love Suave, Knuc, Doc, Wisdom, Knowledge, my people, and all the things I feel about ya’ll I feel about Lieu, but there’s things about Lieu I feel that I don’t feel about anyone else. Is that love? I don’t know. Can I be in love with Lieu, if he ain’t in love with me? I don’t know. Have you ever been in love, Drum? What is it? How does it feel? You tell me, Drum, are Lieu and I in love?”
Drum looked into Gracie’s questioning eyes. “Growing up is hard, ain’t it, baby?”
When IM told the group about Grace leaving, they blamed Lieu and Drum--Lieu for seducing the girl, which was not the case, and Drum for sending her away, which was neither the case. Karin cursed Drum under her breath and began to cry quietly. Eights comforted her with gentle defenses of Drum, believing that sending Princess away was for the best. Suave agreed. The news hurt Lieu. His reaction ignited the firestorm in the empty hotel bar.
“What the fuck, Drum? I’m not trying to rape your little sister.”
“Don’t start with me, Lieu.”
IM jumped in. “It’s not about that.”
“The fuck it ain’t,” Karin interjected.
“Karin.”
“No, Eights. It’s not fair. Gracie ain’t that much younger than me, and Lieu and you damn
near the same age. Grace is going to become a woman. Drum ought to be glad it’s somebody he knows.”
“She’s sixteen.”
“You don’t know that. You don’t even know her birthday. She is entitled to take a lover!”
“God, your mouth is nasty. You kiss that mouth, Eights?” Drum’s temper threatened to rage out of control, again. He breathed deeply through his nose in an attempt to maintain calm, “Lieu is Princess’s brother.”
“Her name is Grace,” Karin shouted back!
“And I’m not her goddamned brother! I’m just a man. Damn. I’m a man. She’s a woman.”
“People are asleep. Calm down,” Suave admonished.
“What happened between me and that girl really ain’t none of your goddamned business.”
“As long as Princess is still in my custody, everything she does is my goddamned business.”
“Then you done fell off the job, Nigger, because Princess hot ass came on to me.”
Before Drum could take that fateful step forward, and seal Lieu’s windpipe with massive hands, Suave stepped between the two. “Don’t act like you can’t understand, Lieu,” Suave reproved. “However old Grace is, Lieu, you older. We have seen you with a lot of women, and none of us want to see you treat Prin…Gracie like the rest.”
“I know that, but…she ain’t like no little girl.”
“That little girl’s name is Princess. Damn, you could at least afford her the respect of calling her by her fucking name.”
“Her name is not Princess! Damn, will any of you all let her grow up? Grace is a completely different woman than that wild child ya’ll had feeding, clothing and bathing you. She has a right to want a man.”
“Karin… Eights, I’m about to say something to your woman.”
“You don’t need permission from him to talk to me! I’m not a little girl, either!”
“You don’t know the shit Eights—“
“--Karin,” Eights interrupted, “when I fell in love with you, a new me emerged. Before, you would have been—“
“—were--”
“Drum, don’t fuck the boy’s shit up cuz you mad.”
“Thank you, Suave. Karin, you could have been just another notch on the bedpost. It’s hard. God gave man domain over woman.”
“Here you go with this shit,” Karin threw her hand into the air.
“That is a great responsibility; one that it is very difficult not to abuse,” Eights persisted.
“No more! No more of the macho bullshit, Eights,” Karin warned.
Eights returned the caution with his own eyes, “All I’m saying is that her brother wants to see the man demonstrate that he’s going to treat her right.”
“Well, you know what? It doesn’t even matter,” IM ended the argument with a final statement. “Grace going back to Wisdom has nothing to do with Lieu, or us, or what we want. Ain’t time for Lieu to prove Drum nor Karin right. After tomorrow’s job, when we take off, Grace is staying behind to meet her dad and her uncle. None of us can or should,” he looked directly at Lieu, “do anything to change that fact.” The finality was clear. One by one, according to the time it took for them to drain their drinks, the group exited for their rooms.
Lieu picked the lock of the bus, intending not to wake Grace. Diva met him at the door. She had only wanted to remind him of his place in the pecking order by escorting him into the bus, but, in the darkness, the black and brown dog vanished from visibility. Lieu tripped over Diva and fell hard onto the floor.

Grace jumped up, grabbed her robe, and raced into the front of the bus. Lieu caressed his hurt wrist and cursed. Grace fell to her knees, took his wrist in her hands, held it to her chest and began to massage any place that made his hand tense up. “You drunk,” she asked? “What are you doing in here, Lieu?” He put his hands on Grace’s hips and pulled her toward him. She pushed him away, “Lieu.”
The Lieutenant wrapped his arms around Grace’s waist. “You leaving me, Gracie?”
“I’m going to…my daddy needs me. Lieu,” Grace trembled. Lieu shifted her into his lap. Diva stood on all fours, frightened at the odd interaction, prepared to attack should things turn ugly.
“Send the dog away,” Lieu said.
“No.” Grace freed herself. “How can you care this much? When Drum asked you why you kissed me, you didn’t have shit to say. Now, I’m leaving and you here in the pitch-black night. We got a job tomorrow. You need to go to bed. What the fuck do you care?”
Lieu tugged at Grace’s hand. “I ain’t know what to say to your brother. I know… Grace, don’t be so dramatic. I didn’t know what to say to your brother. Why you doing this to me? First you want me, now you don’t. I’m a grown man, Grace. You can’t play with me. I never been able to see you like a sister. I always knew you would be exquisite.”
Here was the Lieu Grace had dreamed. Under the glow of the moon and flickering night fires, the shadow and light danced on his face highlighting the divine craft of his profile. She fingered his eyelashes, pulled his forehead to hers and yielded to the long felt desire place her lips against each of his eyes. She ran her finger down his nose and pushed hers to his. Her chest fell against his, and she felt the beat between their hearts syncopate. She pushed her cheek along the thin, coarse hair underneath his chin.
Grace kissed Lieu roughly and pushed him onto his back. She straddled him and began to kiss his crown, his forehead, his nose. She removed his shirt. His broad shoulders, she kissed a dozen times. She touched his nipples, and raked her nails across them. She kissed his neck and hummed in his ear. She positioned herself to unbuckle his pants, pushing him onto his knees brusquely, and tugging until the slacks dropped from his hips. He was slightly erect, and she hesitated for a second, but then she climbed onto her knees and pushed her soft hands into his shorts. She began caressing him. He flipped her over, she begged him to do it.
Lieu took care with Grace. He chanted a litany of entreaties, “tell me if I hurt you,” “tell me if it’s, okay,” “don’t let me hurt you.” Grace, too, prayed. Relax Grace, she repeated over and over in her mind. Relax, Grace. Trust Lieu. But when Lieu tried to penetrate Grace, she tensed and squirmed away.
“It hurts?”
“It’s okay. I think it’s supposed to.”
“It’s not, Hon. I mean…you too nervous.”
“I’m okay. Just do it. Please, I do want this. I am ready. Do to me what you do to the other girls. Do it to me, too, Lieu.”
Lieu tried again. He felt Gracie breathing, and heard her whisper to herself to relax and trust him. But, once he began to break through, Grace dug her nails into his back. She gritted her teeth, and tears sprang to her eyes. He stopped again.
“It’s okay, Gracie.”
“I’m sorry. I’m turning you off.”
“Naw. Well, it’s…you not ready, Grace.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Grace, I’m gonna go.”
“Fuck you, then. Then go.” Grace wilted and began to weep. Lieu opened her arms and wrapped them around him; he played with her thick, tangled hair until she stopped sobbing and drifted off to sleep. Then, he tucked her into the bunk in the back of the van. He returned to his hotel room where he paced, and worried the dawn into day.
Everyone looked whooped when Doc and Knucnuc climbed onto the bus.
“Damn, ya fools no ready yet. What ya waiting for? African time? Zamani,” Knuc asked?
Drum did not turn his face from the window. “We are about ready.”
“Fa’sho,” Doc doubted? Karin and Eights were reclining. She was leaned against Eights’ shoulder sucking her thumb; Eights’ head was tilted back, his cheek to her crown. Drum stared at the concrete parking lot as if it were the lapping ocean. Suave alternately plucked and beat his upright. Now was apparently the time for conjunto; he was changing the bass line for “Ballad of the Art Bandits.” Grace washed dishes. IM and Lieu packed Grace’s art and music.
Karin unplugged her thumb from her mouth to announce: “Grace is leaving. Everyone feels like shit. Apparently, I’m regressing.”
“It’s cool.” Eights rose and stretched. “We gon miss little Gracie, but it’s cool!” The volume of his voice grew with each word. “We got a job to do!” He cheered, “Yeah!”
Grace wiped her hands on a dishtowel and joined in. “Yeah!” Everyone else just stared.
“Yeah, Grace!” Eights ran over and grabbed Grace. He tossed her over his shoulder and ran back and forth across the crowded van.
“Eights,” Grace laughed so hard spit poured out of her mouth!
“She’s drooling,” Suave pointed.
“Ew,” Drum made an awful face.
“Apparently everyone is regressing,” Karin concluded. As Eights ran past IM and Lieu, IM swatted Grace hard on the behind with a rolled up newspaper.
“You suck,” she called to her brother.
Eights copied Grace, “‘you suck,’ that’s some of that rich bitch Huntley shit. ‘You suck.’”
Eights galloped, Grace chortled, and the room filled with energy and life. Even Lieu cracked a smile. Suave sang and tested the new bass line. He liked it and thumped hard as he sang. The bus had grown loud. Knuc called into the cheer, “Stop it! So what now? Means what? Little Rock is de last job for just Gracie alone or the Mutafarrik?” Immediately, the room stilled.
“Thanks, Knuc.” Eights put Grace back on the floor, and returned to the couch and Karin.
“It’s my last job.” Karin sat up straight, “Last night, I called my mom and dad, and they bought me a ticket to Mumbai.”
“Mumbai?” Eights looked at Karin.
“Mumbai” she replied. Eights pursed his lips as if to say something. Karin cut him short. “Yes, I speak the language.”
Drum sighed, “I don’t know, Knuc.” He crossed from the window to the couch and caught Grace’s hand.
“We don’t need Grace.” IM said matter of factly. “We did it for years without her. You all did it without me. This is a highly organized system, better than a machine because it is human, and the absence of a single part will not destroy it.”
Doc saw Grace wince when IM said they didn’t need her. Drum noticed, too. “Damn,” Doc huffed.
“It’s the truth.”
“My insensitive ass brother is right as usual. Ya’ll will keep gigging, robbing, being filthy thieves, dirty rotten scoundrels, and easy hoes.”
“Poor righteous teachers,” IM countered.
Suave plucked the bass, “and easy hoes.”
IM was in the final stages of packing the box. Lieu sat. Drum remarked, “We been trying to keep the hoeing to a minimum since that day Princess told us she wanted to be one.”
All the boys laughed except IM. “You said what?”
“We almost ready, Doc, but don’t we have time to say a prayer,” Grace asked?
“A prayer?” Drum sneered.
“What kinda prayer,” IM asked?
“A prayer to the Most High, a group meditation, whatever. Can we hold hands and be at peace in each other’s company for a little while, please?” No one moved. Sometimes if the Bandits pretended Grace hadn’t made one of these fruity suggestions, she would let it go, but she insisted, calling them each by name. “Eights, Suave, Doc and Knucnuc, Drum, IM and Lieu, if ya’ll don’t come over here right now…Come on Karin, you, too.”
Everyone stepped forward, save IM who had just finished taping the box closed. He kissed the seal and sighed heavily. “Probably a good idea, Princess.”
“Who gon say the prayer?”
No one spoke up. “Ahh,” whined Knuc, “Princess! You go insist we do dis den you don’t got nobody even pick out for de damn job to say de damn prayer.”
“Grace. My friend’s name is Grace.”
“You correcting me, now? You free yourself of Eights now ya want dis dick? Why ya on me? You did not correct IM.”
“IM is her brother.”
“What the ras clot you think I am?”
“I think all of us feel fraternal towards Grace,” Suave spoke and the glances in the prayer circle moved backward and forward from Drum to Lieu.
Drum said, “I ain’t saying a goddamn thing.”
Doc screwed his face as if the prayer smelled bad. “I hope ya’ll don’t fuck up this goddammy job way ya’ll fucking up this damn prayer. I’m glad Knuc and I gon’ be in the limo tonight.” Grace stomped on his foot. “Ow. Jokes. Shit.”
“I’ll pray,” Karin volunteered. The group settled. “Most High, please accept our humble prayers. We bow our heads before you to face the crossroads at our feet. You compel us beyond the reach of our collective grasp. We ask that you keep our minds and hearts close. We pray the courses we choose reflect your guidance.
“Please heal us. Please heal us as a group. We find strength and solace in solidarity, in unity. Help us recognize that healing is change. We understand that all things unfold according to your will, yet we resist change. Please teach those among us who want to experience, need to create, and thrive on the excitement of change to pause for, and attempt to understand those of us who hesitate in the face of the new.
“Finally, bless our cause. We know that the end is liberation of the oppressed consciousness. We attempt to let that belief guide the means. Thank you for your continued blessing over us. We pray that our actions reflect the magnitude of our blessing. Let’s all give thanks.”
Thanks, then hugs, then forgiveness, then the Mutafarrik set out for Gracie’s last job. A doubter would conclude that the Most High had denied Karin’s prayer, but the Mutafarrik knew that divine blessing guided them safely out of the Burial Grounds Auction in Little Rock, Arkansas.